The Difference a Week Makes.

What a difference a week makes.

Last time I posted I was upset, I was angry and I was frustrated. I was struggling to get answers as to when J would start his new school, I was being promised phone calls and emails and I was hitting a brick wall. I got so much support from so many people. I needed that. It genuinely helped.

Things were still stagnant and getting no further. Even J's Speech and Language Therapist got involved in trying to get answers and usually medical professionals don't get involved with school admissions. He got me a number for the admissions officer who was dealing with J and told me what days she worked. I rang her up and was promised a phone call back. Guess what? It never happened. The Old School had tried chasing, I'd tried chasing, now medical professionals were trying to chase too and still no answers? It wasn't good enough. It would be really easy to get annoyed with the new school but they had no proper knowledge of J or our situation and that's why they couldn't provide answers. Apparently our case worker who dealt with the EHCP and assigning us a school doesn't have the best track history. The SENCO and a learning mentor  from school had had enough and went to the new school. This was on the Wednesday. They wanted to get things sorted and were willing to wait as long as it took. They meant business. They came back with answers.

On Friday we said goodbye to the old school for the second time.

Monday came and I dressed J in the uniform for the new school and my grandad picked us up. As we didn't know how long the journey would take we set off in ample time and were too early. A lot of waiting around didn't help with J's anxiety and he was a little disruptive and I filled with dread. Mrs W his one to one from the Old School came to help with the transition and I left J there for an hour. He had a great time. The next day my grandad again drove us to the new school. I was told this time do collect him up at 11am this time. Again they reported another great day. Wednesday he had lunch there and I collected him at 12:45 and then on Thursday he went full time!

After over a year at being in mainstream and only doing 2 and a bit hours a day he had managed to transition to a SILC and full time in just 4 days! Not only that but now he was full time he was going via transport so was picked up from home at 8am and dropped back home at 4:30pm - a long day for a 5 year old but he took it all in his stride.

So now he's in full time school. His class has 4 or 5 staff members to around 7 or 8 children. They have their own dedicated sensory room and their own rebound room with a swing and trampoline and other physical equipment as well as a private outdoor space. School say he is doing brilliantly for someone who has had no real access to learning as he was never in a classroom they've really surprised him by how well he's doing.

The difference in him in a week at home has been amazing too. I've never made it a secret that he can't read or write, or that we struggle with phonetics or even getting him to commit. Yet on Thursday he went and got a pear and came back in the living room.
''Mama, what letters are in pear? P. E. R - PEAR''
Now I know he missed a letter out and it would be so easy to correct him but I was just so pleased that he had sounded out the word as it's something he'd never done before. He can now spell out his name and the word CAT from memory. He's constantly asking me what letters are in words and is really interested.

He's also shown an interest in the time - digital not analogue and asks to check the time on my phone to tell me what time it is. This again is a massive thing as he's reading the numbers left to right whereas he would read them backwards before.

These may sound like small things but in the grand scale of things it's amazing .

The Right Tools For The Job

From the moment you see that blue line on a pregnancy test you start to plan out your childs future in your mind. Your wants and hopes for them, how you expect their first day at school to go, what attributes they will get from you and if they will have their Dad's bad habits, and you know you will love them. Sometimes life decides the journey isn't going to be a smooth one, it's going to be scenic and at times the scenic route isn't going to be very pleasant, it's going to be rough and bumpy and even a bit treacherous. You are going to feel jealous of those who go from A to B in 1 fell swoop when you seem to have hit every other check point apart from the final destination but you stay strong, because it's your childs journey and you will do what is best for them to get them to where they should be.

As many know starting school for Jacob hasn't been the easiest of times. So I thought I would do a wee quick update as I know some people care but are afraid to ask me for fear of me bursting in to tears.

The school are amazing, super supportive and the staff try their utmost when it comes to helping Jake but due to the physical layout of the school it's not the best environment for Jake as he is a climber and adventurous and he doesn't see the dangers around him so he's constantly at risk and whilst they've made as many changes to the school setting as possible, they can't pick it up and move it to somewhere all on one level away from main roads. As well as being physically unsuitable because of sensory issues that Jacob has the class - which consists of 30 children, is just too big and too busy and loud. They don't have a quiet room that Jacob can disappear off into so he has no escape from the hustle and bustle and it causes sensory overload. In the mean time the school have made him a den which is a pop up tent filled with sensory toys and lights, and he loves it, so much so we've created similar at home for him. Jake feels safe in his den and spends most of his school day, which is only 2.5 hours long in there or running around the school trying to escape. So along with feedback from other organisations who have been involved with Jacob it has been decided this school isn't for him and in the new year we will be looking for somewhere more suited to his needs so that he can be settled, and learn.

The complex needs team who have dealt with Jake from being the age of 2 at nursery have assessed him and said that in their professional opinion they believe him to have ASD and ADHD but obviously they can't give a diagnosis, but it is definitely no longer just classified as Cognitive Delay which it was when he was younger. I already knew that but due to a lack of support from nursery the Paed had always just kind of shrugged it off and said there is definitely something there we will assess when he's older.

So there you have it, our roads hit a bit of a bump and not gone quite to plan, but I've always said I wanted Jake to like school, to make friends, to learn, and to be happy and at the moment that isn't happening. On Monday me and his current school are going to make a start on applying for an EHCP plan for him, the paed has been chased up, complex needs are going to be intouch, STARS are being contacted and school is behind me every step of the way and in the new year we will start looking for a new school for him.

I was upset, not about Jake being different, I've always known he was special. Just upset that my boy wasn't getting to be happy and making friends etc. Then I spoke to my dad and he said to me:
''Dani, if Jacob was blind you wouldn't send him to a mainstream school where all the work was written on the board that he couldn't see meaning he couldn't learn and would fail. You would send him to a school that had all the right tools to deal with children with his needs and that is exactly what you are doing now. This isn't a negative, this is a positive, you are going to find the place to give your boy the best possible chance to succeed.''

So there you go. Mama's busy getting my boy a brand new tool box, full of the right tools for the job.